Depersonalization
What It Is and How to Know You're Experiencing It
Imagine yourself at a watch party. You’re watching an important game on TV with your friends only to know absolutely nothing about what is going on.
People are cheering, some are anxious, and suddenly there is an explosion of clapping.
Did the goalie struck out? Why is there a yellow card? and was that a touchdown? Eh.
Then, you look at the scoreboard and it makes things even more confusing.
This is what depersonalization looks like.
When there is tons going on around you, lots of emotion, some excitement, some anxiety. But in all you’re feeling indifferent about the outcome. Two hours into the game and your only hope is that there is still some pizza left.
Now imagine feeling this way except it’s no longer a fun watch party.
It’s feeling this way at work with your clients, your patients, your colleagues, and even your managers.
Now I know that a sports game is not the same as a difficult situation at work but the detachment of emotion to the situation is what I want to emphasize.
Because it might not be something that just happens at work. We might be feeling this way about the world, our towns, or even our own lives at home with our spouse or family.
When we’re too exhausted to care and our empathy is detached, it is as if audio was removed from a video of our own lives.
So how do we identify if this is impacting our lives? We ask ourselves: What is going on around me and how do I feel about my work at this point in time? Do I feel connected in the sense that I feel like I have an impact? Or do I feel like my work is just an obligation in order to pay my bills and buy my groceries?
These are questions that will allow you to stop and asses the world around you. To take notice if your mind and body are aligned and in tune with each other or is your brain acting like a fuse box, protecting you from catching fire from too much stress?
Depersonalization behaviors can also look like:
A lack of caring
The Inability to see the humanity in people
If you work with people, seeing them as tasks rather than people with problems
Becoming insensitive to the emotions of the people around you
And becoming emotionally distant
Remember that these behaviors don’t announce themselves ready for you to start trying to change them. Instead they manifest slowly and creep in when you least expect them.
It is intentional reflection of your well-being that allows you to notice.
If you think this is not something you are experiencing, that’s ok. I invite you to pay close attention to those around you. Perhaps your partner is loosing the ability to care about his co-workers. Or your best friend can’t stand her customer service job anymore because the people are rude and entitled.
Noticing these behaviors in the people around you can spark a conversation that leads to a recovery neither of you knew was needed.
So today, amiga, pay attention. To yourself. To the people beside you. That’s where it starts.